Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
