Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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