I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
