just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
