theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
