Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
