Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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