it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
