sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
