I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
