someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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