why didn't you poke me back
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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