we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
