you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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