Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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