I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
