We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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