You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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