I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
