I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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