chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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