you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
