I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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