no. you can't hotbox the world.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize