I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
