We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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