The maid of honor just puked.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
