And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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