i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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