we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
