am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
