Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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