standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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