omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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