There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
that may or may not have been my penis.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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