We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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