Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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