I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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