ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
