This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
its liver damage thursday
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
