I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize