the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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