There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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