I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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