my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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