it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
