I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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