Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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