she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
