where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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