Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
