She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
