The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
