had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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