I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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