no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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