Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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