He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
